New "Popular Hobo News Special Report" flasher...

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I want to provide the citizenry of Mira Mesa a quick and 
useful signal and info. about actions and instructions for them to follow in the event that:

1) our friendly safe little town is invaded by a hostile entity,
2) is set on fire by rogue public teachers union officials who get pissed off when the voters decide NOT to hire certified convicted pedophiles as substitute teachers of elementary grade kids,
3)when some happy idiot decides to steal an F-18 from Mira Mar and fly it into BigLots during their big big annual mattress sale, or
4) when that skank rodent, Chris "HepB, HepC, HIV" White decides to ride his Black Harley    Chopper (beach cruiser bicycle) up the sidewalk to fry is skull on medical weed, yell obscenities
at cars and throw his beer cans everywhere like the piece of trash that he is.

The public needs one reliable news source to tune to and rely upon when these sorts of tragic terrorist events erupt without warning and I think I can do that job. My only dilemma is that stuff bad happens, its my instinct to roll up my sleeves and run into the center of the situation to help out
rather than sit back with my thumb up my ass and be a hapless hand-wringing spectator
like most folks.

I will eventually have an entire page long variety of these "Special Report" signal/flashers denoting the degrees of urgency and citizens' action that's necessary to take to be safe.

For example, if N. Korea, one day sends a suitcase nuke bomb to the B of A branch office here in MM, my "Special Report" flasher will be that of a colorful flashing mushroom cloud with a heartfelt message of best wishes and deepest sympathies for all (gulp...).

In the mean time whenver you see this photo of my pissed off face with red and blue roller-eyes and flashing lights in the background....

you know there's BAD stuff going down out here in Hoboville and that I'm either covering it or I'm involved in it! Either way, you'll know that I know stuff that you need to know about immediately.
Got that...? Good because I'm getting confused myself.

Just know this: Now you know that I know when and what you need to know when there's a need to know the stuff that I know when I know it and you'll know it when you see this flasher thingy flashing.

Hobo Love Affairs, Romances, Friendships w/ Benefits and Drinking Buddies...

Disclaimer: The following discussion is a timely one out here in Hoboville, which will, by the carefully selected citation and analysis of actual local hobos' current and former so called relationships with other hobos of the opposite sex, attempt to clarify and dismantle many of the long held assumptions and myths surrounding the propensities of hobo behaviors, psychiatric health and their capacities for human interaction. I make no apologies nor will I held liable for any despair, sadness, hostility, nor ridicule and rumors which may propagate as a result of my exquisite and highly detailed examinations of the subjects noted and named herein.
 
There are lots of generalizations and stereotypical assumptions that most people make about hobos/homeless people and when we examine their relationships,


Case Study: Popular Hobo Research Science PHRS #16548-UTR.1287.23A, rev. 4
Let us begin today's lecture by exposing and digesting one particular alleged coupling of one Mr. David Mick and his occasional beer guzzling buddy named Jon Jon. Mr. Mick confessed to me one day after he had taken of adult beverages, a scene which played out on the public city sidewalk of Mira Mesa Blvd and Black Mt Road one afternoon! Mr. Jon Jon had allegedly invited Mr. Mick to adjourne from the busy noisy sidewalk and come with him back to his quiet warm home a few blocks away promising him a chance to take a badly needed shower. This, btw, is a very common ploy of sexual seduction known by most every hobo everywhere and one which Mr. Mick was seriously contemplating. "Something about the way he was smiling at me told me that he had plans other than just letting me take a shower.and it  gave me the creeps and so I told him that will pass on his invitation." Mick said.

He continued the story. "Feeling like I'd just broke his heart or something, Jon Jon stomped off across the street feeling rejected. Then he turned back around and while cars were all sitting there with their windows rolled down, and he just exploded with a passionate outburst: "YOU DON'T LOVE ME !!!!!!!!! YOU NEVER LOVED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I was stunned. I didn't know whether to run and hide or to run over and kick his drunken ass while everyone around heard him yelling. I looked down at one guy in his car who was listening to this  and I told the guy, "Ya know that's the smartest thing he's said all day long!"

Case Study: Popular Hobo Research Science PHRS #1BST3646-65.dc24, rev.2

Ahhh Haaaa!! The Popular Hobo Really IS A Cop!"

It seems that for the entire time I've been homeless, most or all of the other Mira Mesa hobos have,
wondered, worried, proffered, speculated, contemplated, debated and, yes, at last, made the determination that I'm an undercover SDPD officer! The evidence they cite is most compelling:
they saw me talking to an on duty cop, they saw me riding in the backseat of a black and white
SDPD cop car, or they heard two cops mention my name. The fact that I'm the most arrested (and
perhaps the most watched/scrutinized) hobo in town, is apparently more validation that I'm a cop than to the contrary according to these paranoid hobos. Whenever they saw me getting arrested, one of them claimed that my arrests were most likely staged/theatrical acts designed to trick them all into   believing that I was a real "criminal" just like some of them are!

The very first time one of them told me this rumor, my reaction was to deny it, naturally. However, weeks later when I heard it again from two other hobos, I realized that these hobos must have conducted a thorough and rigorous, scientific investigation on me in order to dismiss my denial
out of hand.

The rumor/myth that I'm working undercover as a cop, to me, is hilarious. And because I do enjoy a good laugh at the expense of others sometimes, I only denied that rumor the first time I heard it. But since then and to this day, I do not deny any crazy rumors or myths that these insane hobos conjure up. Its been over fours years now and that myth/rumor  is more real and more alive than ever and it keeps me amused.

And now for the very first time, I feel its appropriate that I share something else about my alleged long standing career with SDPD. I think I was "promoted" this morning @ Jack in the Box! Check out this short video of myself and SDPD Sergeant Jack Didelot.

Pssssst...please don't blow my "cover" if you happen to see me on the streets. Like don't call me Officer Hobo  or Deputy Scott Hobo or some other such title. Otherwise, call me anything, anytime... just call me. ;)

Hobo Diatribe FInds Useful Purpose (As Infantile Humor)

I'm so sick and tired of hearing the latest death threats and obscene vulgarities uttered by the flapping gums of Chris White's yapper and it seems like every other day he's tagged more street signs and more utility boxes along Mira Mesa Blvd. with his big Sharpie markers with crazy violent/obscene vulgar about me. The only reason he gets mentioned at all on my blog is because he's the proverbial village idiot whom is bound and determined to do some really, really, really sTuPiD, stupid stuff!

I just hope I've got my camera handy when he does.In the mean time I need to upload this little video I created featuring Chris White's toothless yapper. The words are Chris White's- the puppet and
voice are my own creation.

Wow, that sounds more like Chris than Chris sounds like Chris! I can't even watch this video any more because I did the most authentic Chris White voice that  it makes my vomit whenever I hear his yapper yapping

An Internationally Known and Locally Respected Fotographer

Last summer/fall while I was on the waiting list to get into St.Vinny's to partake of their so called RESIDENTIAL REHAB PROGRAM**  (remember,I'm court ordered to go into residential rehab),I was living downtown at the world famous Baltic Inn. Perhaps you've driven by it and took some pics from the outside or maybe you heard that one of your fav hiphop/gangsta-rap celebrity idols was staying there. Well, I was there too. They let me stay there because I'm the Popular Hobo.

One night I was walking around downtown and  I saw a young guy shooting photos.He looked like a tourist to me (I'm not sure why since I myself do the same thing and I damn sure ain't no tourist.) and so I walked over to him and started talking to him about photography. His name is Mike and he's from Germany and yes he was a "tourist" staying downtown for a few days and heavy into his photography. I gave him some tips on places to go to snap some classic postcard-quality photos of San Diego's downtown scenes etc. We exchanged contact info and then went our separate ways.

You know how that goes when you meet some nice friendly person from out of town (overseas) whom you share a common interest with but then later, due to the daily grind of your job/school/life's bullshit etc. etc., you just never seem to find the time to maintain a long distance friendship.

Well, I'm not too busy to spend some of my quality hobo time with anyone whom loves photography as much as my friend Mike from Germany does. We swapped email a few times and he sent me some of his stuff he shot while he was here in San Diego. He's an avid student of the craft and an amateur who would like to make money with his artwork.The shots he sent to me were absolutely stunning. While I enjoy shooting San Diego's downtown scenes from an architectural perspective, Mike shot the pedestrians/people…emotions…their very thoughts it seems …the beauty as well as the anguish…and also the raw heart wrenching despair of those filthy downtown hobos. He stopped some of the most amazing expressions/emotions and situations that you always see while you walk around in any city which occur in the blink of an eye. Expressions that cannot be posed nor replicated by models. Surreal artwork…true urban scenic art that is, IMO, gallery quality.

Apparently there's a lot of politics within the print publishing industry in Germany and Mike tells me that his stuff would be rejected out of hand simply because he doesn't have a college degree or some other prerequisite certification to be qualified to have the talent to shoot such compelling quality artwork as he has demonstrated to me. (I thought their socialist system has free market capitalism built into it...I dunno.)


Anyway, if you enjoy urban scenic photo-artwork then take a look at Mikes stuff on flickr.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/metal_mike/
 
Be friendly, say 'Hi' and tell him that Scott sent ya! ; )



 **I waited for 8 weeks to get into Vinny's only to discover that they LIED through their teeth about having a real rehab program.Of course all that they told me verball;y was not in writing.

The Big Big Big New Car Sales Event...where were YOU!?

I met a long haul trucker a couple of years ago in Mira Mesa when I was living in my car behind the Lucky Seafood store. He rolled up behind my car in his 18 wheeler loaded with new cars. As I recall,
I got out of my car to investigate the situation as I never knew that Gemini was a truck stop/rest area.
So I met the driver. His name is Lou and he's a really nice/cool guy. We talked for a while and  before his wife came to pick him up, I jokingly offered to guard his load of new cars while he went home to sleep. The next day when he arrived back to his truck, I told him that he needs to wait until at least 10am before leaving to deliver his load of cars. He smiled and asked why. I told him why.
"Lou after you left, I made some signs, blew up some party balloons and had me a MIDNIGHT MADNESS NEW CAR BLOWOUT SALE!!! I sold all 8 of your cars...I blew 'em out for $800/each!
I took cash deposits and the owners are coming here any time now to pay me the balance and take their new cars home. But don't worry, Lou, I'll pay you a little something afterward since they were on your truck... would $400 be sufficient?" :)

He got a chuckle out of that one not really considering that there ARE customers out here who would JUMP at the chance to snatch a brand freakin new car for 1/25th of its market value from a hobo if they thought they could get away with it. Of course, if I started selling his cars, I'd need to have an escape plan...those po-leece would be all over my white trash from here to Kittery, Maine! I'd be on the 12 o'clock, the 6 o'clock and the 11 o'clock news. ("Look, Ma, I'm on Tee Vee!") . I saw Lou very seldom...only a few times a year and we always had friendly conversation. Nice guy!

Well, this past Sunday, while I was in Kearny Mesa next to Walmart flying my hobo sign, I thought I saw Lou's truck rolling down the street. But its been so long since I last saw him that I wasn't 100% certain it was him. So I walked down the street where he parked and I'll be damned, sure enough, it was my friend Lou!

We talked for a while and he said he needed to run into Walmart to get a few things. As soon as he jumped down from his cab to go shoppin', I got busy with my biggest Sharpie marker and made myself a sign! You guessed it--its time for another INSANE  SCOTTY'S CURBSIDE CAR SALES EVENT!! As I've mentioned and have shown you in some of my previous posts, I have lots of jiffy sign making materials to create BIG loud bright and enticing signs. A good sign with the right words can be very compelling especially when the words are "NEW CARZ  4 SALE...$500/EA CASH ONLY"! But there I was in Kearny Mesa, equipped with nothing more than a fat Sharpie marker but nothing good to write on. :<.

Because time was of the essence, I was trying to BLOW OUT his new Audi 's for only $500 cash money!!Imagine driving home in a new 2013 $23,000 Audi for a little more than the cost of a cart full of groceries!!!Imagine trying to convince the cops that you didn't steal the car-- you bought 

it from an honest looking fast talking hobo. 

:)

Free Resources for Hobos? Yes! Great for lifestyle deadbeats, drunks, pregnant females and HIV patients.

Since I first became homeless, I learned about the numerous projects/programs/orgs. etc. whom comprise the "homeless industry". Make no mistake about it, just as the housing/real estate services and construction industries thrive following a major earthquake, flood or wildfire, there's a ton of money changing hands, railroad car loads of cash (state and federal tax funds and charity donations) are being allocated and spent and paychecks being issued to well-paid, full time professionals whom specialize in (or who's work tends to hobo problems) such as  alcohol/drug counselors, mental health workers, security guards at shopping malls, paramedics/ER hospital personnel.

If every hobo in San Diego suddenly disappeared tomorrow---Phoooof! like that, there would be lots of skid marks on the crowded highway of economic recovery due to layoffs/terminations, rescinded funding and reshuffling of market sectors. Drug rehab places which are currently overcrowded and have 6 month long waiting lists to enter, would shut down and reopen as new Asian grocery stores, Mexican car wash/Taco stands and liquor stores. Don't hold your breath for hobos to go away anytime soon.

The hobo industry is a thriving one which runs in a reciprocal order to our capitalistic economy which is why its currently thriving (as the recession lingers on). Its an industry that's driven by charities and federal/state funds but what does it produce? Not sure how one can measure output or productivity of this economy (it may be the # of clients served / $ spent).

I've always believed that my homeless situation is a temporary one and that what ever problems I'm experiencing are due to my lack of a purpose/occupation and that the remedy is a damn job... some responsibility and program to manage....employees to supervise etc. These homeless-assist resources,from what I've heard and seen, can be very useful for someone who needs their GED and their first ever job. 

There's a program run by the SDPD to deal with chronic drunks whom the cops get fed up arresting every few days for public intoxication. The program is called SIP (Serial Inebriate Program) and what it does is take the drunken folks of the street anbd put them into a sober living apartment along with others in the program. Once they're in the program they follow a daily routine of group meetings and light chores and they must attend 5 AA mtgs per week. The program is far better IMO than just living in a shelter like St.Vinny's because its goal oriented. It seeks to transition the person from the homeless streets drinking all day into either employment and or gov.assisted housing etc. while remaining committed and focused upon maintaining sobriety.

Its difficult for me to sing praises about any particular resource org. but I could rant and bitch all day long about the way some of them are run. I liked the VOA's residential detox facility in Nat'l City but its work is almost pointless without the availability of beds in the county for residential treatment.