Saturday, February 23, 2013

Popular Hobo N & E Needs Growth Mgmt and Capitol Investors!



Just as I anticipated months before I began compiling content for this blog--I'm gonna need help (facility/studio, staffing and equipment) to run and grow this thing into the kind of quality hobo news and entertainment product I envision (and do so within a reasonably short time frame).
I'm only two weeks into this project with only a tiny sliver of the content edited and uploaded and already I see the need to increase the work force by at least 300% immediately just to maintain a modest news team crew to cover the hellified happenings and shifty charades around Hoboville.

What with the quick/unexpected release from county jail of Mira Mesa's most notorious, most hated and mentally discombooberated, violent local hobo and plus the latest infestation of new downtown-dweller, heroin addict, sign-flying panhandlers who come up in here and try to run the local bums off the median by making false police reports, I'm bound to miss some entertaining felonious knife slashing,bone snapping,skull smashing drug-induced eruption of hobo madness whenever the shit pops off out here!

As some of you can imagine, shooting content for this N&E blog is not the same as when I used to shoot content for adult magazines and videos. I don't get to screen and interview the prospective cast members, or schedule rehersals or test shoots with them before the production shoot and nor is there a script for them to read and memorize. I don't even have any control nor influence over the wardrobe fashions and hairstyles these hobos wear when they perform! Can you imagine!!?My point is that capturing good content depends 80% upon my being at the right place at the right time and 20% working the camera (lighting and mic) properly.

Since we're on the subject of work via computer/internet/multimedia tools, let me try and describe the "workplace environment" at the studio and the news desk and their arsenals of technologies which support them. Again, doing things hobo style using my trusty Macbook is different from working on my Mac desktop when I owned a house a few years ago and I'm not referring to the many changes in the Mac OS but rather the simple things we often take for granted like light, heat and a roof over your head. I  have none of those things.
 
For example, two nights ago I was up late working online just as all of you often do yourselves.
And just past 9pm or so, when I noticed how ice cold and numb my fingers were getting from typing without gloves in the frigid 38 degree night time air, I  also  noticed a drop of liquid upon my laptop screen. Then another drop and pouranother and before I could snap my Macbook shut and dig out my 10' x 15' vinyl drop cloth and cover myself and all my stuff up, the clouds burst open and began to pour tons of icy cold rain down upon me and my gear! I managed to cover up quickly enough however to avoid any damage  to my computer but it was miserable being cold and wet like that.
Check out this news report I shot beneath my vinyl dropcloth.
 







I live outside 24/7 and only recently have I begun to post up inside places like Starbucks and the Fed Ex store where they have free wifi.  And  today I was posted up inside the Albertsons grocery store (@ the Starbucks kiosk) from 6am til 5pm writing and editing and using AT&T'S free wifi from next door. That's good but while I'm inside the store, I'm not out in the field on the scene shooting and recording new amazing hobo shit that's going down out there! I just know I'm missing some wild new stupid ass shit or funny shit that one of these hobos is either getting himself into or is trying to escape from! I mean, that's all they do all day long and it takes an alert and dedicated mobile multimedia studio + news team to be there and stay with them to capture news and entertainment when it breaks.

All day today I heard  the sirens of police cars and paramedics several times but I couldn't go investigate the situations because I was here at the news desk with my laptop, camera and
my crap strewn across the news desk. 




 
Last week in the dumpster behind the bowling ally, 
I rescued this abandoned headless toddler (manniquin).
 He used to work fulltime standing/posing in the front window
 of a children's clothing store until one day when he lost his head
after overhearing a customer call him a name ("dumb white trash").
Well, I wasn't there and I don't know about the "dumb" part but 
when I found him he was dressed in this clean solid white spandex
 bodysuit and standing a vaccum cleaner box inside the dumpster!
I know a little bit about white trash and lemme tell ya,
it just don't git no mo whiter trash dan dat! 
I'm gonna keep the little feller
him and use the 1/4' dia. bolt in the
 top of his neck as a camera mount!
He sure did turn a lot of heads while
I had him on my lap with that 
camera screwed onto 
his shoulders.


 I don't know if I missed any good news stories today or not, but damnit, I'm gonna be pissed off
if I hear later on tonight that David Mick got drunk this morning (as usual) and started a fist fight
with that fat hostile heroin addict from downtown and I missed shooting video of it!





Since I became homeless, I've been interviewed on
LIVE four times by four local television 
news stations. I think they saw potential in
 my natural TVshow charisma, my quick wit and 
my magnetic prime-time adorability long before
 I finally realized just how amazing 
I can be without any script, 
 no make up nor 
hairspray.




                                            I like to drink coffee in the morning but I prefer to
                                                                              switch over to beer by 9 or 10am and so what I                                          
                                           need to do is find a good compromise. Baily's and 
                                                                    coffee is the perfect solution for when I work inside
                                         @ Starbucks. Its not like I'm sitting in a grocery store 
                                                                    drinking booze and pinching the asses of all the pretty
                                        young mommies and bored under-appreciated sheltered 
                                                                 house wives who pass by me and smile seductively at me
                                                           all friggin day. Its not as if they know I'm a hobo.

 Honestly, I don't worry about what they think because I'm
 too busy working on my blog. I need to hire some skilled assistants.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Mira Mesa Hobo's Prompt/Capable First Aid Skills Prove Useless After Ped. Is Hit By SUV

Less than two hours ago, as I was sitting on the porch beside the CVS Drugstore watching traffic,
a silver Toyota SUV slammed into a pedestrian before my eyes. After hearing a loud thud sound made by the SUV and seeing light colored mass/blob flash above the roof of the car, the car stopped.

I ran quickly to the scene to ascertain the situation and as I approached, I saw the victim lying face
down in the far right hand lane. At first glance I thought it was one of the local hobos whom I see everyday as he was a black, heavyset male approx, 40 to 45 yrs old. I checked to make sure that traffic had stopped and then I jumped down on my knees to tend to him as best as I could while calling 911. I felt his pulse and I saw that he was breathing but his internal and head  injuries were so severe that it seemed impossible that he was still alive. His eyes were open but hisd pupils were fully dialated. A motorist came to assist me and we rolled the man onto his side to prevent him from choking on his blood which was pouring out of his mouth. I then ran 50 ft or so over to the
"crows nest" (the fav daytime beer drinking spot behind the US Bank) and grabbed up a pile of
hobo blankets and sheets that were being used recently by an out of town female guess hobo.
I raced back to the victim and carefully placed a couple of clean/non-soiled folded blankets
beneath his head and held his wrist to feel his pulse until the paramedics arrived.

The first responder was a SDPD officer who didn't disrupt nor try to improve whatever it was
me and the motorist guy were doing. Basically, we were both trying to comfort this poor guy with
an ever sinking feeling of helplessness and sadness knowing that he may die any second in our hands.
When the paramedics arrived a few minutes later, I left the scene for a moment to run down the ally and wake  David Mick up  inside the dumpster pen behind Albertsons. Since David Mick is the most frequently  injured "victim" the paramedics are usually called to tend to, I knew he would enjoy getting up out of his sleeping bag to come out and gawk and listen to all the fire/rescue crew, the dozen or so cops walking around, the half mile or so long streamers of yellow police caution tape everywhere and  three TVnetwork news team trucks with lights and cameras and all.





The paramedics loaded the victim inside the ambulance and drove away without lights and sirens,
which is an indication that the man may have died at the scene. The cops made me hang around  so they could get my report as the only eye witness to the actual accident. After the cops took my report they let me go to get my camera and laptop so I could capture this  BREAKING NEWS and update my blog asap.





My prayers tonight go out to the family of the young male victim whom I wished I could have helped. I regret that I have no info about him or his family whatsoever. (ref to Channel 6 and 8 for
more details... yeah I know I should put links here for their websites. You need to know also that its 1:24 am here in Hoboville and I'm freezing my ass off outside here at Jersey Mikes to update this blog and I'm going to bed now.) And I'm sending a special prayer to the poor young female driver of the SUV whom struck him. There was, IMO, nothing she could have done to avoid hitting the man, yet she will surely be traumatized by this unfortunate accident for  msny years to come knowing that she actually took a human life tonight.

God, that is so anguishing. I hope she knows the Lord and finds peace with herself. I also hope that she had good auto insurance and that she's able to get her life back on track soon.
Good Night from the news desk of Popular Hobo News and Entertainment..I'm Scott.
 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

2 Much Good Hobo Stuff...I need a bigger shopping cart!

One of the prevailing theorems subscribed to or at least tauted by countless bums, hobos, homeless urchins and transients (see footnote1) goes something like this :

        "If you can't carry it inside your backpack
                                                       then you don't need it."


This sounds very good...very intelligent and disciplined. No hoarders, pack-rats, junk collectors
 nor pawnshop/swap-meet junkies allowed!! Its advice that smacks of efficiency, simplicity and implies that you' ve got cash wealth (ie. Whatever things/stuff one may need that didn't fit
inside the backpack can be easily purchased/replaced with a new one at the next destination.)

Well, I hate that stupid adviCe and I always have from the first moment some hobo tried to
offer it to me. Its the sort of self-limiting handicap that only a bottom-dwelling lifestyle loser would adhere to. I never learned that the American Dream meant going to school /become trained in some field of work, save your hard earned money so that one day you'll be able go buy a lovely spacious backpack where you and your wife can start family.

Perhaps that's being a little too harsh, but the only people I ever met who follow that backpack rule are the ones who constantly ask to borrow (and sometimes steal) my hobo crap!
 
One of the biggest advantages I've come to appreciate most about living hobo style in Mira Mesa is that I have an ever expanding universe of peripheral storage spaces nearby. One is large enough to hold all of my hobo crap together (but its the furthest away) while the other several are very small and each one can barely hold half a small shopping cart load of stuff. What i like most about them all is that I pay no rent/storage fee for using them and I can get to my stuff 24/7.


  
        
While climbing out of the dumpster behind CVS drugstore tonight, I ran into 
  my little buddy Miguel! His Ingles es no muy bueno, but its far mo betta than my 
Spanish and yet we still understand one another and we like to chop it up once in a while. ; )


By having several small storage containers spread out all across town, I feel sorta like a fatcat corporate banker capitalist pig (remember how the infamous OCCUPY movement coined the term 
for the super wealthy folks: "the one percenters" whom live with excess supplies of overpriced high end stuff and own dozens of vacation homes near every major airport and enjoy the luxury of having their personal crap at fingertips whenever they travel). Well, that's how I roll as well.

    I'm not bragging here, but, for example,whenever I get bored with these
Eastside MM hobos, I just drag/push my shopping cart 2 miles across town to Camino Ruiz Blvd.  where I have several caches of canned food and clean/dry clothes safely stored. Whenever I want to 
escape from MM for awhile I can slide over to Miramar where I have a large patio-porch-split level dwelling with ambiance and privacy and yes, more of my stuff stored nearby.

I know that to some, I may sound as if I'm content with all of my little piles and bags full of hobo crap strewn all over town but the truth is that I'm as frustrated as hell because I need more crap...lots of it. What I really need is a full time job with an income in the 70k to 90k range but I'll get into that another time. 

For as long as I've been homeless,over 4 yrs, I've always recognized the treasures that can be found
in dumpsters. But like in so many other ways, the way I dumpster dive is vastly different from how most other hobos do it. Rarely do we search for the same kinds of crap unless its something really good like canned soup, bottles of wine or like that big laundry bag we found last year that was filled with unwashed panties that was owned/worn by Jessica Simpson! 
(Okay I lied...they actually belonged to Ashley.)