Saturday, February 23, 2013

Popular Hobo N & E Needs Growth Mgmt and Capitol Investors!

Just as I anticipated months before I began compiling content for this blog--I'm gonna need help (facility/studio, staffing and equipment) to run and grow this thing into the kind of quality hobo news and entertainment product I envision (and do so within a reasonably short time frame).
I'm only two weeks into this project with only a tiny sliver of the content edited and uploaded and already I see the need to increase the work force by at least 300% immediately just to maintain a modest news team crew to cover the hellified happenings and shifty charades around Hoboville.

What with the quick/unexpected release from county jail of Mira Mesa's most notorious, most hated and mentally discombooberated, violent local hobo and plus the latest infestation of new downtown-dweller, heroin addict, sign-flying panhandlers who come up in here and try to run the local bums off the median by making false police reports, I'm bound to miss some entertaining felonious knife slashing,bone snapping,skull smashing drug-induced eruption of hobo madness whenever the shit pops off out here!

As some of you can imagine, shooting content for this N&E blog is not the same as when I used to shoot content for adult magazines and videos. I don't get to screen and interview the prospective cast members, or schedule rehersals or test shoots with them before the production shoot and nor is there a script for them to read and memorize. I don't even have any control nor influence over the wardrobe fashions and hairstyles these hobos wear when they perform! Can you imagine!!?My point is that capturing good content depends 80% upon my being at the right place at the right time and 20% working the camera (lighting and mic) properly.

Since we're on the subject of work via computer/internet/multimedia tools, let me try and describe the "workplace environment" at the studio and the news desk and their arsenals of technologies which support them. Again, doing things hobo style using my trusty Macbook is different from working on my Mac desktop when I owned a house a few years ago and I'm not referring to the many changes in the Mac OS but rather the simple things we often take for granted like light, heat and a roof over your head. I  have none of those things.
For example, two nights ago I was up late working online just as all of you often do yourselves.
And just past 9pm or so, when I noticed how ice cold and numb my fingers were getting from typing without gloves in the frigid 38 degree night time air, I  also  noticed a drop of liquid upon my laptop screen. Then another drop and pouranother and before I could snap my Macbook shut and dig out my 10' x 15' vinyl drop cloth and cover myself and all my stuff up, the clouds burst open and began to pour tons of icy cold rain down upon me and my gear! I managed to cover up quickly enough however to avoid any damage  to my computer but it was miserable being cold and wet like that.
Check out this news report I shot beneath my vinyl dropcloth.

I live outside 24/7 and only recently have I begun to post up inside places like Starbucks and the Fed Ex store where they have free wifi.  And  today I was posted up inside the Albertsons grocery store (@ the Starbucks kiosk) from 6am til 5pm writing and editing and using AT&T'S free wifi from next door. That's good but while I'm inside the store, I'm not out in the field on the scene shooting and recording new amazing hobo shit that's going down out there! I just know I'm missing some wild new stupid ass shit or funny shit that one of these hobos is either getting himself into or is trying to escape from! I mean, that's all they do all day long and it takes an alert and dedicated mobile multimedia studio + news team to be there and stay with them to capture news and entertainment when it breaks.

All day today I heard  the sirens of police cars and paramedics several times but I couldn't go investigate the situations because I was here at the news desk with my laptop, camera and
my crap strewn across the news desk. 

Last week in the dumpster behind the bowling ally, 
I rescued this abandoned headless toddler (manniquin).
 He used to work fulltime standing/posing in the front window
 of a children's clothing store until one day when he lost his head
after overhearing a customer call him a name ("dumb white trash").
Well, I wasn't there and I don't know about the "dumb" part but 
when I found him he was dressed in this clean solid white spandex
 bodysuit and standing a vaccum cleaner box inside the dumpster!
I know a little bit about white trash and lemme tell ya,
it just don't git no mo whiter trash dan dat! 
I'm gonna keep the little feller
him and use the 1/4' dia. bolt in the
 top of his neck as a camera mount!
He sure did turn a lot of heads while
I had him on my lap with that 
camera screwed onto 
his shoulders.

 I don't know if I missed any good news stories today or not, but damnit, I'm gonna be pissed off
if I hear later on tonight that David Mick got drunk this morning (as usual) and started a fist fight
with that fat hostile heroin addict from downtown and I missed shooting video of it!

Since I became homeless, I've been interviewed on
LIVE four times by four local television 
news stations. I think they saw potential in
 my natural TVshow charisma, my quick wit and 
my magnetic prime-time adorability long before
 I finally realized just how amazing 
I can be without any script, 
 no make up nor 

                                            I like to drink coffee in the morning but I prefer to
                                                                              switch over to beer by 9 or 10am and so what I                                          
                                           need to do is find a good compromise. Baily's and 
                                                                    coffee is the perfect solution for when I work inside
                                         @ Starbucks. Its not like I'm sitting in a grocery store 
                                                                    drinking booze and pinching the asses of all the pretty
                                        young mommies and bored under-appreciated sheltered 
                                                                 house wives who pass by me and smile seductively at me
                                                           all friggin day. Its not as if they know I'm a hobo.

 Honestly, I don't worry about what they think because I'm
 too busy working on my blog. I need to hire some skilled assistants.


  1. Hi Popular Hobo,

    Thanks for writing the blog, it's a lot of fun to read. I recognized you outside of Starbucks this morning, hope you are working on a new post!

    I'd love to hear more about the new invasion of downtown hobos, and how they are changing life for the long time MMhobos. Could you tell us more about the day to day stuff of hobo life in Mira Mesa, or maybe the story of how you decided to live the hobo life in Mira Mesa?

    You mentioned a particularly notorious hobo being back on the streets, which one is he? Is it the twitchy guy that's been on the median by Black Mountain Road?


    1. Chris White is the tatted up shot out skinny old limp guy who used to have white rats crawling over his head.He's about as notorious as it gets before he'll almost surely do something to get him put away for many years.