Thursday, March 21, 2013

Shutting down? Maybe for a while.

I made this little police car light with a tiny Christmas bulb I dug out of the dumpster...
I'm Code 3 watch out!! I may be on  my way to jail as you read this.  :(

I'm going to meet with my Probation Officer today @ 2pm. She's all pissed off because I'm not in a rehab place. I beliive that today she's going to revoke my probation and send me to jail where I'll sit for 10 to 14 days to await a hearing. Since this will be my 4th violation, by law I'll be sentenced to state prison because I've spent so much time already in county jail.  I can't perform the goddamn court order because there are no beds available in the rehab places. And despite that I've been on waiting lists and that I call these places every day since December 13, 2012, my Probation Officer is PISSED OFF AT ME

 If I do go to jail today you'll know it if I haven't posted another update by tomorrrow.
 Wish me luck.

I made it back after meeting with my PO!!!
Yipppee!! No county jail for me tonight...
no 1.5" thick foam pad to sleep breakfast tray @ 4:30am for me jailhouse politics and racial segregation to conform rules about how to use the toilet

and need to start walking with a limp and grabbing/ touching my genitals while I'm talking as everyone does in jail so they look like thug/gangsters.

Have I mentioned to you that I HATE FUCKING JAIL.. 
But what's weird is that when I go downtown I do enjoy shooting photos of SD County Jail.
I think its because I have a strong sensitivity and value for my ability to stand outside the building
rather than be stuck inside that place...

Just walking past this place conjures up all sorts of scenes, sounds and smells inside my head.
I hate the place...

Its amazing to me that there are men and women (Sheriff's Deputies) who actually get dressed and drive themselves there (as opposed to being dragged in against their will by SDPD) to serve county jail time (usually 12 hrs /sentence) but they get paid good money to do their time. From what I've seen myself, they have jailhouse politics just like the inmates do but when they fight/squabble its never a loud bloody violent insane riot but rather its quiet passive transparent and invisible to the average inmate. Like the time I overheard a Corporal Deputy and a rookie Deputy chatting outside the holding cell  I was in and they were talking bad stuff about the cute female deputy who was finishing her shift. I think they were plotting to punish her by making her do 1000 push ups, take away her day room TV soap operas  or  perhaps make her sweep/mop the entire second floor for a month because she violated/disrespected  the "deputy-wood jailhouse rules" when she gave me an extra sack lunch while I was waiting to see the doctor. That's straight up politics like what inmates have.

But considering that those deputies come and go from that place as if its a regular "job"its amazing to me that most of them have their senses in tact and some are even friendly. I'm reluctant to say it, but just as I have a good rapport with most of the SDPD, whom I've dealt with, its the same thing with these Deputies whenever I go to jail. I don't wanna paint myself as a habitual jail inmate like "Otis" the town drunk on the old Andy Griffith Show, but several of these deputies know me from my "visits to their workplace" and so they greet me with big smiles when I walk in.There are two deputies in particular whom live in the area and I've gotten aquianted with them somewhat whenI see them on the street and I've met  their wives and kids etc. That's nice and very uncommon.

I'm sure that my wit and adorability light up their dreary workplace when I'm there but have I mentioned...I hate jail.

When you ride through that massive steel gate withe sheriff's star on it that opens up while you're sitting in the backseat of the cop car, you think to yourself-- its gonna be 16 to 22 hours from now before you'll be booked in and be able to lie down in your bunk and sleep. The booking process is torture because you're transferred from holding cell to holding cell (about 7 or 8 cells in all) along with 20 or so other inmates who are all in various states of hostility, injury/pain/sickness, insanity and personal hygiene.

 Except for murderers, pedophiles, transsexuals, flaming gay guys and drunks arrested for public intoxication, you're processed with a blue wristband along with (other) criminals of every conceivable kind...DUI offenders,wife beaters/domestic violence,shop lifters, assault & battery offenders, attempted murderers, bank robbers, car thieves, drug dealers, arsonists, vandals, animal killers/abusers, credit card/identidy frauds and other probation violators, like me, who are there because I'm on a waiting list for rehab!! (As I mentioned, I've had my probation revoked three times before because of this same issue.)

Each 'fish tank' (that's what the jailhouse deputies call the holding cells because they're constructed from shatter proof glass so that the Jailers and cameras can see all the inmates and see what they're up to while they get booked into jail.) has its own stainless steel toilet with a built-in wash basin/drinking fountain. This is one ingenious work of human factors engineering like no other.

There's something sinister and yet profoundlylogical and efficient about putting a drinking nozzle directly above the rim of a toilet. But these are jailhouse toilets and they're prone to overflowing and clogging up.  Enough about that.

As you can imagine when angry/frustrated men are packed into a filthy contrete room, fights break out regularly during booking. Some start between members of rival gangs but more often they start for reasons that just blow you away: like someone looking at someone crooked or someone thought he overheard someone else say something bad about the Chargers (really!??) or similar brainless bullshit. That's what makes jail so terrifying--you cannot under estimate the degree of brain damaged, drug induced, evil minded, uncultured, uncivilized behavior that goes on all around you in there.

 One minute you may be having a friendly coherent chat with some guy and the next minute he may be trying to stomp your skull into the floor because you may have gone to the same high school as his ex-wife's older brother in law who still owes him money from back during the Clinton Admin!!!
Insanity rules.

If I had the choice of course I'd take a rehab place anytime over jail although rehab is more similar to jail than any place else you can imagine.

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